Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Off Topic: Miss You Already

I leave bright and early Thursday morning for two gigs in Washington with Trowar.  Of course I'm pretty jazzed about it.  What's not to like about traveling on someone else's dime to play original music with mind-blowingly amazing musicians?  I'm particularly excited about the next three Trowar shows (two in Washington, one in Indianapolis) because we've been drilling the same songs in the same order. The set may be short, but it should be nice and tight.  This is my hope; this is what we're working towards.

However, these trips are always preceded by a sort of ache in my chest.  I think that it is due in part to performance anxiety*, but mostly it comes from missing my wife Mary Beth and our two kids.  It happens this way every time:  once a gig is confirmed and the plane tickets purchased, this uneasiness/ache in my chest expands until I'm on the plane ready to head out.  Essentially, I begin missing my family before I have even left.  I get a bit squeamish when I leave the security and stability of our home, and this feeling gets so intense that I start to question whether or not I even want to carry on with a band that requires me to travel.  Yeah, I realize how crazy that sounds - travelling to play music is something I've fantasized about since I got my first bass.  I always enjoy it, but I hate not having my family along for the ride.  I want them to experience all the neat things I get to experience; I want them to take part in the fun too.  I know this will happen eventually - Chris (Trowar manager) has already tried to do it once - but until then, I'll just have to take as many photos as I can to show the family when I come home.

To be clear:  I'm not complaining about this amazing situation into which I have fallen.  I feel truly lucky every time I carry my bass through the airport.  But I did want to acknowledge the slight melancholy I feel every time I leave my family.  Guys - I, as always, will miss (am missing) you a bunch.  I love you dearly and thanks for making it possible for me to live this dream.

*-Although I do believe a little performance anxiety is good.  You have to stay sharp.

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